ALBA ELIZA PEREZ

Welcome to my diary of my thoughts. I am a dreamer and a lover. I am also a fighter. Allow me to see your perspectives of life but also allow me to share mine so that we may be stronger together. Life is beautiful. Embracing happiness is easy I know because, Embracing my pain has been so HARD. The world we were born to is meant for connection. We were not born on the purpose to isolate ourselves because of differences, but rather how we can connect because of our uniqueness.

"LOVE LIFE & LIFE WILL LOVE YOU BACK"

& I am back on the streets loving the sun and the skies above me. I can’t say that I have changed for the better or that im done hitting rock bottom. I have no empire only prayers for a better tomarow. I have to keep on moving, beliving & I keep on living. Some people have money some people have an amazing family. I have heartbreaks and laments and all I have are my hands and a heart ready to act and ready to love.

— 4 hours ago

An alarm awakes me. Everything is perfectly and peacefully dark. Its 3am. I can hear the snoring. Their dreams elevate toward the skies of this planet earth while their bodies rest. I am running late on deadlines. I am the lover of the night but also the sunrise. So I wait patiently for the sunrise to happen. The darkness couldn’t be any more soothing and beautiful to me.

— 1 day ago

I believe I have discovered how to stop time. How to live in the present. I have discovered a form of smiling even when the reason for smiling is no longer present.I have discovered how to shed the shame off my skin and how to understand myself with out having an appearance. My thoughts roam free no restrictions. I have discovered a form of love that is limitless and ageless and never set in stone but forever changing and always improving. There are no mistakes only explanations and discoveries. The new becomes newer and the old doesnt becomes the past but remains forever tangible and in my present. I have no past only an open canvas where I never get tired of thinking, creating, believing, desiring and loving. Even in times of despair I am living it outloud even though no one is listening. My heart beats harder and stronger before me and I catch my impulses and feel them and embrace them. I record them but never forget them,I just grow from them . I have discovered a fountain of youth for writing will never be old news to me. It will never die or be in the past. I will never feel like I have nothing to say the mere words of having nothing to say becomes something and I have emotions. I have discovered love. A love that many forget to embrace. A love that is forgotten and yet here I remain writing my past, present and future I write my exsistance and I am alive.

— 1 day ago

My steps are growing tired. Stare into my eyes and you will understand where I stand in life. I am not moving fast enough, quick enough for the success I want to embrace. I need to shine brighter and think faster. Starving. Sleepy.I Endure the pressure. I am craving the end. I am craving the title. The occupation. The experience. I am craving something to hold on to. I am craving my independence, my feeedom. I am craving a form of giving back to this world I call home.I’m growing fatigued but I really want to finish so bad. I am the force of the water molecules that roar their fall into the bottom of massive waterfalls. I fall in love with kinesiology enduring the bitterness of physiology and the discipline of anatomy intertwined with the desire to mend the physical pain of pediatric patients.

— 1 day ago

I can’t offer much. All I can offer is my acceptance. I can laugh by your side or accompany you when you cry. My broken spirit stands before you, do not confuse it with an opportunity to pitty me. Do not embrace my brokeness if you arnt committed or if you are just looking for fun. I am working on improving myself economically and emotionally. I am also spending time alone to find myself. I am in no way in disapproval of finding love when you are young. The individuals who have the love of their life before them as such a young age are blessed and I look at them and smile at them. I have late bills. I am not getting enough financial aid for cal state universities. I do not have a room to rest in. I do not have savings and currently do not work. All I have is an overweight body, homework and a mind that has been both my course yet also a blessing. I do not want to deal with love at the moment.

— 2 days ago

I’m so emotionally tired. I really want the sex. I am so sleepy. My body just wants to be carresed. Do not hug me. Do not touch me. Please. I masterbate and I can’t help but feel sad because I am never satisfied. One orgasm after another. I just want to sleep. I need the sleep but I wNt to feel the pleasure. Being a sexual creature has always been a struggle. I’m so sleepy.

— 4 days ago with 1 note

I love in the day and in the night.

If all the rain drops from early in the morning were Cady and gum drops my mouth would be open wide. At ah aha aya aha . Barney

Oh Mr. Sun Mr. Golden shine please shone down on me. Barney

I love you you love me. Barney

Clean up. Clean up . everybody do your share. Clean up . clean up. Barney

And I say hey! Arthur***

Zoom

Cyberchase

Osmosis Jones

Ba ba blacknsheep have you any wool no sir no sir.

The boy who cried Woolf.

Humptyndumpty sat on a wall Humpty dupy had a great fall.

These little kittens have lost their mittens and they began to cry .

Franklin.

Little bear

Little bill

Full house

The Cosby show

The berstain bears

How the Grinch stole Christmas

Horton hears a who**

Green eggs and ham

Then fresh prince

Cheers

Bewitched

I love ginie

According to Becker

The new adventures of old Christine

How I met your mother

X files

The pink panther

Pokemon

Degemom

Yugio

Ann of green gables

Hidie

Candy candy **

Attack on titans

The regular show

Adventure time

The Amanda show

Hey Arnold**

Recess

Rugrats

Dragon tales

Power rangers

Supernatural

Reba

Dragon ball z

Kpbs

Sesame street

All lalal lala lala Elmo’s world

The Cleveland show

Family guy

American dad

Simpsons

The 70 show

Lizzie maguire

Even Steven

Teen titans

Cat dog

Sponge Bob

According to Jim

Sagua

Saboombafoo*

Reading rainbow
Take a look at the book its reading rainbow

WB . Tweety. I thought o saw I puddy cat

Porky
Bugs bunny
Donald duck
Animaniacs

Pinky and the brain *

Winx
We are the winks

Sailor moon

Totally spies

What I like about you

Sister sister

That’s so raven.

Were back*
The land before time
Little people
Toy story
A bugs life

Sponge Bob

The flinestones

Snoopy*

Eliza wild adventure

The magic bus

Brace face

According to ginger

Books:

Leftovers**
The giver
Ella enchanted
Because of wind Dixie
Holes
Cheeting
Maroon of the caves
Little girl on the prary
Valley girls
Amelia bedelia
Amazing scrumptious looking donuts
Amber brown *
Junie B Jones*
Buenas vistas
Lovely bones
Mira ver mono hace*
Felicity..
Sylvestre
Green eggs and ham
Romona quimby *
Where the wild thing are at.
Corduroy
Ann of the green gables
Hidie
The caboose that got loose
The little engine that could
Christantemo****
Salerno vende una casa***
Mrs. Nelson

Recent.
Grapes of wrath
The great gatsby
Hamlet
Fereinheint 451
Pride and prejudice
The things they carried
Extremely loud& incredibly close
Allison bechdel. Fun home
The perks of being a wall flower
The fault in our stars
Las travesuras de Enrique
Spanish :
Adios cordera
La casa de Alba


Future
100,Anos de soledad
Isabel ayende

Fav. Movies.
Stranger than fiction
Uptown girls
Mulan
Life is beautiful

— 4 days ago

ponderingcomplications:

I wake up and I remember
that you’re not mine,
so I take these poems
and rewrite their lines,
and I break like waves
and fall like leaves.
You love someone else,
and so I grieve.

— 5 days ago with 22 notes

I grew up for no particular reason, always waiting for death to come to me.

Everything I loved or cared about had no meaning to me.

I had no best friends they required affection and I had no affection to give them.

They say you must give up something to change.

I changed and I gave up my trusting ways. I trust no one to love me. It developed many insecurities.

I have lived life with the soul purpose to give love and do not expect to receive anything in return

Every time I expect to be loved I get hurt.

I am tired of waiting for the world to love me that doesn’t mean in anyway that I do not love the world.

I not scared like I used to be of my own silence or the past anymore.

I hear the voices, I see the shadows. I hallucinate. I see the walls move and the floors sway back and forth and I am no longer intimidated by this psychosis.

I am waiting for clarity. I need to plan this life of mine. Now is the time to act . I’ve been to overwhelmed but everything will come together and if it doesn’t I make it come together.

They say you must give up something for change well i am giving up my insecurities, my worries, my anxious ways so that I can be brave once again.

Let life happen but when it gets to tough allow yourself to breath.

Elijio taught me its not okay to be so insecure. He taught me friends care. He taught me the beauty of patience. He taught me the beauty of being stressed.

Leslie taught me that it wasn’t my fault. She taught me about having confidence. She taught me to try hard to reach your goals and that its oaky to cry and feel sad and she taught me the beauty of female friendship.

Vanessa taught me the beauty of pain and sadness. She taught me not to fear it but embrace it. She taught me to love me when I am sad and to lobe me when I am happy and to be happy with life’s unpredictability because its what makes life , life and worth living.

Ally taught me to not fear judgement. Ally taught me to its not okay to stop trying to be happy. She taught me how to love everyone you meet no matter how much you will get hurt. She taught me how to love others for the sake of loving. She taught me everything is worth it.

Ferny taught me to embrace the now. No looking back. He taught me how to say what I feel and mean what I feel and only do it if it feels right. He taught me the art of remembering who I am.

My brother taught me how to love unconditionally. The hardest of loves yet. He taught me how to stand on ky own. He taught me how to fight others judgement. He taught me to be on my toes.

My mother taught me the beauty of patience. She taught me forgiveness. She taught me confidence. She has taught me self worth. She has taught me deligemce and tidyness. She has taught me discipline. She has taught me to never give up.


My father taught me that I do not need a father figure to be loved . he taught me independence.


My stepfather taught me to love everyone no matter how hurt you will end up. He taught me to be note than just a physical appearance. He taught me how to draw my pain. How to express myself in my writing. He taught me to sacrifice my all for love. He taught me how to be responsible. He taught me that knowledge is beautiful he taughtmme to be optimistic. He has created so much damage but he has also showed me what how to respond to pain and radiate optimism .

…………..

— 5 days ago

So many heartbreaks at a very young age that left me vulnerable and agitated. To many to count. 6 heart breaks so far. My father denying me the right to claim him as my blood. My stepfather who sexually abused me. My younger brother who denied the truth. My mother who emotionally abused me. My older brother who attempted to sexualy abuse me. Elijio the guy I fell in love with yet couldn’t have him love me back. Telling my mother the truth about my past and her calling me a coward. May I just say I am fighter and a lover until I die. You would think I would never want to loveor be in love or trust anyone after what I have been through and to an extent I do not want to. This world has been cruel. And all I have to say that as long as I didn’t hurt anyone my heart is at peace. I know what pain is. I know what frustration looks lile . I know what it is like, to want to die and be able to free yourself from your problems hence why you would always write freedom or peace or love on your artwork. You were always looking for a way out. You always wanted to take the easy way out but something kept you alive. Its that same voice that tells you to keep on smiling to keep on loving to keep on laughing to keep trying that keeps you alive no matter how much this world will hurt you. You were not born to be enslaved by the pain they caused you. you were born to radiate your happiness to others but most importantly for yourself. Life can be shitty but its not shitty all the time and at the end its okay to be alone because being alone and happy is way better than being with friends who will never understand your insecurities nor your sadness. You are 50%sadness but your 60. % happiness. And together you live your life %110 hopeful that it will get better later on :).

Love alba.

— 5 days ago

I wasn’t in search of your friendship but when it happened I called it a blessing. You presented yourself to me and I saw a girl who radiated happiness with in her and for others as well. You didn’t really say much. I looked into your eyes and I saw a girl who loves life is optimistic and desires to be the best she could ever be. You soon. Became an admiration to me. You embraced my brokenness and never judged me. You then began college and I became scared of loosing your friendship. But I stoped because I realized that life is full of blessing and that other individuals needed you in their life as well so I didn’t take it personal when you stopped texting, when we stopped hanging out. When you started to party. I felt I was lonely and I managed with these emotions I have always had. Then I realize it was the time to embrace me. I can’t always be with people to be happy. When your father gave you a necklace for your birthday which by the way beautiful and you hugged I saw the love between you guys and I tried so hard not to cry. I have been wanting the love from my father so bad and there before me you embraced your father and your father embraced you. I almost cried. I was trying so hard to be happy bit I felt I was being reminded of how lonely I am . so I didn’t think of returning to your house for a while. I let go of you even more hoping that if our friendship would last you would show some interest in me so I wait. Well I do my own things. I am a lone wolf . I was ment to be one. My father doesn’t love me. My brother doesn’t care for me. My mother doesn’t communicate with me and well I still have anxiety issues and well I have no love for any guy and I am not in love. There will always be tomarow to live and I have tomarow to look forward to it. I’m okay with no love because inam tired of begging for it. I am a lone wolf and wanting to be part of a pack has caused me great harm. Who ever want to be in my life will find their way but if not then it will just wither away. Love alba :)

— 5 days ago
Scientists create living organ in mice in world-first breakthrough
Oliver Milman, theguardian.com
Results on regenerated thymus in very old mice potentially open way for helping humans to live longerScientists have regenerated a living organ for the first time, potentially opening the way for life-lengthening human therapies.A team at…

Scientists create living organ in mice in world-first breakthrough
Oliver Milman, theguardian.com

Results on regenerated thymus in very old mice potentially open way for helping humans to live longer

Scientists have regenerated a living organ for the first time, potentially opening the way for life-lengthening human therapies.

A team at…

— 6 days ago